


@UncleJ

by shir1095



Series: Uncle Jaime's Adventures [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Mentions of incest, Military, Modern Era, Multi, Past Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister's A+ Parenting, brienne is mentioned, so is Tywin, the rating is mostly for language, uncle jaime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shir1095/pseuds/shir1095
Summary: Jaime is on leave and is allowed to take the kids out with Tyrion when he finds out he has a rather interesting Instagram page full of pictures of him and the kids.A modern AU that is pure fluffy family bonding time, and a little Lannister drama.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister & Tyrion Lannister, Myrcella Baratheon & Jaime Lannister, Tommen Baratheon & Jaime Lannister
Series: Uncle Jaime's Adventures [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562497
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	@UncleJ

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello  
this is my first work in the fandom, but rest assured i've been obsessed with the show since it aired.  
I really love Jaime having a chance to be with his kids, and I live for Lannisters family drama.  
Jaime is a Delta Force Solider, why? because I saw Black Hawk Down and Nikolaj played a Delta force solider so there you have it. I'm very unfamiliar with US Army so i'm really sorry if I don't get somethings right.  
Myrcella is 10 and Tommen is 6~. They are Jaime and Cersei's children. No Joff just because.  
Now Beta'd!

Jaime doesn't even know when it started. He can tell by the date written in the app but he can't recall when exactly it has started. Sure, he can narrow it down to that time he was on leave and Cersei was on one of her moods, so he stayed at Tyrion's instead of the house. He was on leave again, out with Tommen, Myrcella and Tyrion at some fair on Coney Island. Cersei didn't even object to him being out and about with them in broad daylight. She did insist on a bodyguard tagging along, but Myrcella pointed out to her that 'Uncle Jaime' was a solider and was way better than any security their mother insisted on.

"Come on, Uncle Jaime, you promised!" Tommen says as he drags both him and Myrcella towards the stands. "There was this one time when Dad took us to the fair," (no doubt for some media spin) "and he couldn’t hit all the ducks. He barely got two. But you’re a soldier, I bet you can shoot all of them!" Yes, that’s exactly what he’s part of a world-leading military elite squads for – to win all the toys his _nephew _can possibly hold in his small, chubby hands. He hates that he can't call them _his_, that the time he gets to spend with them is contingent on Cersei’s mood of the day.

"Yes brother, surely you can beat a few ducklings." Tyrion says from somewhere behind them, holding his flask. Jaime shakes his head and passes the teenager a few coins to pay for the game. The ducks are all lined up and he grabs the rifle; fives shots later Tommen is pointing at the biggest plush lion the stand has to offer. "Thank you, Uncle Jaime, thank you!" Tommen clings to his legs and Jaime hoists him up so he can kiss his cheek. When he opens his eyes he sees a flash, followed by both Myrcella and Tyrion snickering.

"What are you up to?" He moves towards them, Tommen and his big plush toy still in his arms. "Nothing Uncle Jaime, you know us." The girl says with a smile. 

"I do know you, and therefore I know this look." Jaime says and pounces in Myrcella’s direction, grabbing her by the waist and holding onto her with his other hand.

"Uncle Jaime, I'm too big, I'm not a child anymore!" she screeches, pounding at his chest to let her go. "Too big? You're just a baby!" Jaime says and laughs as she pouts. She looks just like Cersei did when she was her age, though she didn’t look this innocent.

"Hot dogs!" Tommen shouts as he spots the food stands, breaking the spell of the moment. He wiggles until Jaime lowers him down and he hands him a few coins again. Soon enough they are all sitting on the benches, eating hot dogs, and that’s when he notices Tyrion and Myrcella whispering again. "This is going viral." Tyrion says and Myrcella nods. "Another confused puppy video?" He asks, making sure to place some napkins by Tommen's plate. If Cersei finds even a trace of ketchup on his face she will throw a fit. Sometimes she’s scarier than his first drill sergeant.

"Something like that." His brother answers between bites.

He sees it for the first time when he's carrying a sleeping Myrcella out of the car (not a child his ass). Her phone screen is open on an Instagram post and he recognizes the scenery. It's from earlier today. He pockets the phone and carries Myrcella to the kids' room at Tyrion's place.

After he makes sure both kids are tucked in in Tyrion's spare bedroom, he takes out her phone and looks at the Instagram post again. The photo already has 5000 likes, but he doesn’t recognize the profile it was uploaded from. He knows Myrcella’s nickname and photo ("Uncle Jaime, you have to follow me! We’re Lannisters, we support our own! Besides, I made a bet with Shereen."; He wonders what his father would have to say about his granddaughter’s use of Lannister loyalty) and this wasn’t it. He enters the profile, and promptly feels like he got kicked in the chest. @UncleJ is filled with photos of him with them: him cheering at Tommen's soccer game; Myrcella and him eating ice cream at the park on his previous leave. As he keeps scrolling, he realizes it has been going on for years. The first picture was uploaded in 2010. They were actual babies.

He slowly closes the door, making his way straight to Tyrion who, as expected, is lounging in the living room with a bottle of wine.

"Did you know?" He asks firmly, holding the phone in front of his brother’s face. Tyrion looks at him innocently. Of course he knew. It's probably what they were giggling about all day long.

"Jaime…" Tyrion says carefully.

"What if Cersei finds out? She will never let me see them. You know how paranoid she is! I barely get to see them as it is, even when you are with us."

"Cersei doesn’t know. Your faces are half-hidden in most of the photos. It's alright."

Jaime drops down on the couch next to his brother, looking defeatedly at the phone. "You _know_ her. She will find out."

"And do what exactly? You are their uncle. It is not uncommon for uncles and aunts to gush about their nephews. And they both love it! When they miss you, we look at the photos together. It's like a family album."

"She will say it’s risky."

"Jaime, I opened the profile for you, so you can have it too. You will never have an oil painting of you together above your fireplace. The least you can have for yourself is some pictures of your _kids_."

"Don't."

"Jaime. Our sweet sister has taken everything from you. You spent all of your adult life playing war halfway across the world. When she feels like wanting you, she summons you-"

"She doesn't –"

"Oh, spare me, big brother.” Tyrion rolls his eyes. “I know you and I know her. I need to play chaperone for you to be able to see your own kids! It's not fair. She took too much. This is me, giving you something that you can have with them. It's just yours and theirs."

"The photo got 5000 likes in two hours. Sure doesn't sound like just me and them, Tyrion."

"So a lot of soccer moms and military wives follow you, so what? They love all the photos from when we visit you in base. Not to mention, your face also helps, everybody wants to see a beautiful American hero. Besides," Tyrion adds, “Aunt Genna is a big fan too. Can't possibly let aunt Genna down. Sorry Jay."

"We will find her a suitable replacement. Shut it down." They stay silent, Tyrion examining his wine glass while Jaime stares at his hands.

"Father loves it."

"What?" green eyes locks on his brother's eyes. Tyrion smiles.

"Myrcella showed it to him at one of the cousins' wedding."

"Father disowned me, Tyrion. He doesn’t care, it was probably just a gesture for Myrcella."

"Did we grow up with the same man? When has father ever indulged us?"

"Grandchildren are different, or so I've heard. Tywin made it clear that when I chose the army over going back to school, I was no longer welcome." Jaime says plainly. There was a time when it hurt, but it's been years, and even after all the talking Aunt Genna and Uncle Kevan tried to do on his behalf, the situation stayed the same. Things got _really_ heated when he got accepted to The Unit. His father cornered him at the end of Myrcella's recital and told him that if Jaime ever found himself in a sticky situation, he would not lift a finger to help him.

_"You have so much potential, Jaime, and you choose to waste it on being a glorified bodyguard."_

Being disowned hurt, but he had never used the fortune he’d had at his disposal since he had grown out of being a trust fund baby. Military life made him more practical; having all the army basic facilities, he didn’t own an apartment ("I'm away all the time Tyrion, and when I'm state side, I would rather have your guest bedroom than come back to an empty one-bedroom that costs too much money and is barely used") and he sold his overpriced car, putting the money he got for it in a savings account for Myrcella and Tommen, just in case.

"She got everything.” Tyrion persists. “She got her golden-haired children, she got the status and leverage and power, and she still has you by the balls."

"That's enough." The warning in his tone makes Tyrion smirk.

"Do you disagree? When was the last time you were with a woman? Even though I know for a fact you haven’t been with her for at least a year. Would have been longer, if Margery Tyrell hadn’t draped herself all over you in Willas' wedding. Our sweet sister marked you real pretty that night, to make sure all those girls knew to stay the fuck away from you."

He remembered that night. Robert was needed at work, so she went to DC alone, and he just came back after deployment. Tyrion begged him not to leave him alone with the Tyrells _and_ Father, and Jaime relented. After the rehearsal dinner, where Margery in fact did drape herself all over him, Cersei took him to her hotel, far enough from where they held the venue, and ravished him. She clawed at his back and made sure to leave marks anywhere. Her love bites were could be seen from miles away, and she made sure he smelled of women's perfume (not hers of course, she was never stupid) when he came to the ceremony the next morning.

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"I know it's not a common occurrence, but you are wrong." Jaime says.

"Do tell brother. We never get to talk about lovers!" Tyrion is as excited as Tommen after having too much candy.

"Not lovers, just a… someone."

"Finally decided to confess your admiration to your CO?"

"What? No!" Jaime says, his eyes wide as he feels his cheeks heat up. He should have never told Tyrion how much he cared what Arthur Dayne's thought about him. "It is someone else. _She _is someone else. We crossed paths a few times and she is… well, she is magnificent."

"Please elaborate on that."

"She has these astonishing eyes, Tyrion. I swear they’re the bluest eyes I have ever seen."

"Is she blond? Who am I kidding, of course she’s a blonde. However did you manage to find a Cersei model in the desert?" This makes Jaime laugh.

"Trust me, brother, Sargant Tarth is not Cersei."

"So where is your mystery woman?"

"Still deployed. She gets here when I'm going back." He sighs. God, he sounds like Myrcella when she talks about boys.

"Star crossed lovers." Tyrion mutters.

"We are not lovers, we’re just… we have an understanding."

He looks up the stairs when he hears the sound of a door closing. Two blond heads pop in the hall. They walk slowly towards them, sitting between Jaime and Tyrion. Tommen is clutching a book while Myrcella looks at her phone, still in Jaime’s hand.

"I know you know about the Instagram profile, Uncle Jaime." She says quietly. "It was supposed to be a surprise. Tommen and I meant to give you this next week." She adds as Tommen hands him the book. It’s a scrapbook, with Myrcella’s neat writing and Tommen’s doodles in it.

"We don’t get to see you that much, and I know you’re not allowed to use your phone sometimes, so we decided to print out some of the photos so you can have this too." Jaime has a lump in his throat, burning away with emotions. He opens the book slowly and sees some of the photos he scrolled past when he looked at the profile.

"Do you remember when you came home for Halloween and you went trick-or-treating with us?" That photo shows Jaime in a Han Solo get up, young Myrcella as Princess Leia and toddler Tommen as Luke Skywalker, glowing sword and all. "How could I forget? Your Uncle Tyrion didn’t want to dress up as Yoda." Tyrion glares at him from across the sofa while the kids laugh.

"Oh look! Here’s all the fun you had when your Uncle Jaime attended a ladies' tea party!" Tyrion points out and smirks at him. Myrcella was four years old and very demanding, he remembers. The whole page is filled with photos of her showing her uncle how to be a proper lady. One of the photos involves him getting his nails painted. Another has him in pigtails, sitting on the floor while she stood on the couch and tended to his hair. The last one is of Jaime and her, sitting on Tyrion's patio, sipping tea with their pinkies raised.

"Where am I?" Tommen asks.

"You weren’t born then, silly!"

"We never had tea party, Uncle Jaime! That’s not fair." he says and turns those big green eyes on Jaime. Tyrion, the little fucker, snickers behind them.

"We'll have to do it again. Everybody has to attend a ladies' tea party. I promise you buddy, next time I'm on leave, we are going to throw a tea party that will put Olenna Tyrell to shame." Tommen doesn’t seem too confident, but then Myrcella flips the page and points at a photo of Tommen wearing Jaime's green beret.

They spend the rest of the afternoon going through the pictures and laughing at the memories. There aren’t a lot of them, but Jaime cherishes each and every one of them.

Eventually they all hear the honk that signals their time with their uncles is up. "Will you come to say goodbye before you leave, Uncle Jaime?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He says with a smile, internally wondering whether Cersei allows him to drop by. They both go upstairs to get their bags and belongings, and then run out of the house and into the waiting town car.

He notices the plush lion that probably fell from Tommen's hands while he was running outside. He picks it up, jogging towards the car.

He opens the back door only to find Cersei staring at him.

"Forgot your lion, young man." He says awkwardly. He wasn’t expecting her to be in the car. Usually when she sends the kids to Tyrion’s, it’s because she needs some time for herself.

"Jaime." she acknowledged him, looking him over with her piercing green eyes. "Cersei."

"I hope you all had good day." She says, looking at her children.

"We had the best! Uncle Jaime shot all of the ducks and I got to choose this lion and then we ate hot dogs, then Uncle Tyrion bought us some ice cream and we went on the spinning wheel and…" He doesn't look away from her and she nods at him.

"Uncle Jaime promised he would come say goodbye before he leaves." Myrcella says in a tone that is pure Tywin Lannister when he wants something without directly demanding it from you.

"Of course, darling. Say goodbye to your uncle, we need to go back home."

"Goodbye, Uncle Jaime!" He smiles at them and closes the door, watching as the town car speeds away.

When he walks back inside, he sits next to Tyrion. His brother's mismatched eyes staring at him, like he knows something's up.

“keep the profile up.”

“are you sure? I can take it down.”

“just keep it up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Next up- Jaime gets captured on a mission, Lannister Drama and Brienne


End file.
